The Orphanage of Words
I made your friend keep this letter for you. If you are reading it, then something big has happened in our lives. Is it good or bad?
Some words are centuries old yet every time we hear them they feel like newborns. Through this letter, I wish those words to see the light of the day out of their orphanage.
We were in X standard. I got very ill in school one day and my mother came to fetch me. I was telling her about my pain outside the class and in the middle I saw you. You were sitting on the last bench and you had your eyes on me. You probably didn’t know that I could see you from behind the glass windows. And you kept on looking at me and I, you. I still have that image of you in front of my eyes. What were you thinking, Rana, at that moment?
The five month long separations during your NDA days were bittersweet. The wait, the anticipation, dreaming of the day I would see you standing at my door. I have seen people breaking up over one month of long distance. And yet how did we keep getting stronger?
I felt more in love with winters when I would hold your warm hand. Long walks with you made me bear those hot summers even. You are a beautiful person, inside out. And you made one out of me too. But then you left me.
Relationships may be built on laughs and gossip and good times but the acid test is loss…you lose something, you fail at something and your intimacies shape-shift. Your relationship with the world changes. Real bonding comes through only at the times of such grief. I wanted to stand with you in your moment of grief. But you never gave me that privilege in your life. It hurt.
So, I withdrew silently. I built a new life for myself. I just have one regret. You didn’t think me worthy enough of sharing your pain with.Did you not trust me with your bare soul?